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Like I’ve said before, it’s no secret that my mom hates me working at the porn shop. Every time I talk about working there, even a mention in passing, she heaves a heavy sigh and says meaningfully, “You know, I REALLY don’t like you working there.” She and my dad refuse to call it the porn shop…it’s either “that store” or “the adult store”. It doesn’t bug me in the least, parents are parents. I probably wouldn’t want my kid working here, either.

That being said, my other job is considerably less porny. I work at a radio station; it was my major in college and I’m planning on pursuing it as a career. My “day job”, if you will.  Along with DJing and scheduling music and whatnot, I’m also asked to voice commercials sometimes. The production director handed me a script a few days ago, and after reading, I couldn’t WAIT to tell my mom just to get a rise out of her. I sent the following text message that morning:

PSG: Since my pornshop job isn’t giving you enough gray hairs, I figured I should warn you that I’m now the voice of a stripper in a commercial on the radio.


I called her when I got off work a few hours later just to catch up and stuff (yes I call my momma regularly, don’t even hate) and we got around to my text message:

PSG: Oh yeah, so my stripper commercial!

Mom: Yeah, what’s that all about now?

PSG: Well the production director has me voice commercials sometimes, and he got one in for the strip joint 20 minutes from here and asked me to be in it.

Mom: What did you  have to do?

PSG: Oh, you know, seduce local men. *sexy voice* Hey fellas, come out to [strip club] for a good time! Wednesdays are FANTASY NIGHTS!  *back to regular voice* I’m sorry  my life choices horrify you.

Mom: *cracks up laughing*

While my job might make her uncomfortable, at least she can get a laugh out of it sometimes.



  1. My parents referred to my job as “that novelty shop.”

    Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.

  2. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU ON THAT COMMERCIAL but I was too seduced to put 2 and 2 together.

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